3/18/2024
This is hard for me. I'm so sick of feeling like I have a facade on every single day. It's hard for me to determine if I'm ok, or if my depression is just gone temporarily. I'm using isolation to mask what I'm really feeling. I'm also willingly diving into work so I don't have to feel what's really going on in my life. It's hard to talk to people in my life about it, because I know they don't or wouldn't understand--or care to honestly. I'm a mess. I'm doing things so unorthodox, yet I'm functioning and thriving in a lot of different avenues. Make that make sense. How can I have my shit together so much but be falling apart all in the same breath? Make that make sense, too. I want to feel normal...even for just a day. I don't wany my depression to creep up on me. I don't want to isolate. I don't want to cry myself to sleep. I don't want to doubt myself--in all aspects. I want to feel worthy. Worthy of my accomplishments, my relationship, my friendships, all of it. The lack of self love I have is unbearable. Why can't I just give myself a pat on the back one time? Why can't I realize that I truly am made for more? That is the prefascist of this blog; a daily reminder that I am worthy for more. That because I'm still alive, there is so much more for me. That I'm here for a reason. I'm tired of questioning that each and every day. I'm tired of waking up questioning if I'm enough, if I'm worthy of the things, but also questioning why things are happening to me. I'm juggling so much. I feel like I'm at the circus. The star of it. The grand finale.
I'll figure it out. As people always told me, I always have. But, damn does it feel hard to juggle everything right now. All I know, is this Easter weekend coming up, I am more than excited; I know it'll show me again that I am made for more.
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2/29/2024
For me, blogging has always been a form of therapy—a way to untangle the thoughts swirling in my mind. This revamp is about taking that therapy to a whole new level. I want to invite you into my life in a more intimate way.
What excites me the most about this revamp is the opportunity to be unfiltered and unfettered. I want to strip away the facade of perfection and show you the messy, imperfect, beautifully chaotic parts of me. This blog will be a space for authenticity, vulnerability, and raw honesty—a place where I can be myself, unapologetically. With a new mindset, new goals, more hope, and different topics., you'll read the real me. The messy me. All versions of me. This means sharing the highs and lows, the triumphs and struggles, and everything in between. Through every trial and tribulation I've gone through in my life, I'm finally slowly realizing that I am made for more, hence the new blog name. I'm not the same person I was when I first started the ';tgetsbetter' blog, and I'm so grateful for that. Get ready. Welcome to the shitshow and reminding myself daily that I am made for more.
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